Happiness depends on the importance we attach to our stress.
For many months I have taken the wisdom and insights of Harvard happiness researcher and author Shawn Achor to heart and put his simple advice into practice. It seems like a good time to share some of this, with happiness seemingly in short supply.
During the pandemic, rates of anxiety and depression have increased dramatically, and 40% of Americans report that they are struggling with mental illness (including anxiety, depression, and trauma). Women are twice as likely to suffer as men in the same age group. Younger adults, minorities and those most directly affected by COVID (frontline workers, survivors, unemployed, etc.) have had disproportionately worse results.
Happiness is a choice. At least that’s what science says. According to the study, external factors such as wealth, physical environment, education, marital status, and marital status account for only 10% of the variability in happiness between two people. Ninety percent of our happiness is predicted by how our brain processes the outside world. That 90% is exactly the part that we can change.
First, a few differences: happiness is not always pleasure. While pleasure is a transitory, active, emotional state that comes largely from external circumstances, happiness is internal. It is based on joy and a deep sense of peace. You can experience joy without pleasure, and it can even coincide with fear or pain – think: childbirth, a new adventure, taking risks that you think will have positive results, etc. Achor defines happiness as “the joy, that you feel as you approach your potential. “This is how we see the substance of happiness.
Happiness does not mean being blind to suffering either. Things that are coated in sugar don’t make them any better. Blind optimism actually separates us from reality, contributes to bad decisions, and delays problem-solving. While pleasure and blind optimism can hold back ambition, joy does the opposite. Joy activates the brain at the highest functional level: it increases problem-solving skills, triples creativity, increases intelligence and memory, and increases results in business, education and health. As a bonus, a ripple effect changes life around us for the better as we increase the level of happiness for ourselves.
Happiness is not freedom from stress. Happiness depends on the importance we attach to our stress. With the right lens and context, stress can have positive effects on our physiology and self-esteem. The greatest meaning in our life almost always comes from situations of high stress and the resilience and creativity we use to deal with them. We are most affected by the stressful circumstances in which we survive and even conquer. Finding meaning in stressful situations changes them from a negative to a positive experience and can change their outcome and physiological impact.
We can transform stress by doing the following:
- Realize the stress. (See it and name it.)
- Connect the stress with the importance. (Why are you interested in this thing anyway?)
- Take the energy of the stress response and focus it on the meaning. (See the experience as worthwhile and let it increase your motivation, determination, purpose, and passion.)
Applying a mindful pause to our discomfort can be the magic required for transformation. While these steps don’t resolve the stress, they do reduce its negative effects. Stress is inevitable, but its effect on us isn’t, and our mindset is the mediator.
We tend to believe that genes and the environment are equal to potential. This is problematic because we are exposed to things over which we have no control – what we are born with and what happens to us. While genes and the environment provide the basis for happiness, applying small positive changes to our daily patterns alters the trajectory of our happiness regardless of our circumstances. The more consistent our practice, the higher the reward. It is the lens through which we view our reality that changes us and our confidence in its design.
Five actionable ways to happiness: four of them take two minutes a day; the fifth needs more.
- Gratitude. Each day, share or write down three NEW things that you are grateful for. Make an effort to do them differently each day and give details. List the WHAT and WHY. Remembering small things can have more effects than big things.
- Experience. Take two minutes to record a meaningful experience that has occurred in the past 24 hours. Write down three details about it. When you remember the details of an experience, your brain doesn’t distinguish between the past and the present (actual experience and visualization). You then use this positive experience for deeper long-term storage and double its effect. By attaching importance to an event, your brain judges your entire day through a lens with greater importance and creates pattern habits of positive perception.
- Move. Studies show that 15 minutes of cardio is equivalent to taking a pharmaceutical antidepressant just three times a week. Exercise also appears to be a “gateway drug” that leads to other positive changes and the motivation to make them.
- Meditation: Follow your breath for two minutes. This simple action greatly reduces stress and anxiety while increasing focus and access to joy.
- Connection: Take two minutes to write a text or an email praising, thanking or encouraging a new person every day. This can create an ecosystem of happiness that not only strengthens our connections with others, but also strengthens our relationship with ourselves. The greatest indicator of long-term happiness is our social connectedness and how deeply and meaningfully we feel connected with others. The social connection is just as significant to our longevity as obesity, high blood pressure and smoking.
Twenty-one days of these practices will make them habits.
In addition to these actionable steps to happiness, naturopathy offers a broad compendium of natural medicinal products and approaches in the field of naturopathic psychiatry. For these needs, please visit me at the Aspen Integrative Medical Center in downtown Flagstaff. I am here and very helpful. FBN
From Dr. Kären van der Veer, NMD
Dr. Kären van der Veer has more than 20 years of experience as a doctor, acupuncturist and educator. Her career has been shaped by her passion and dedication to serve others. She currently teaches at Northern Arizona University and sees patients at the Aspen Integrative Medical Center in Flagstaff, 323 N Leroux, Suite B. For more information, call 928-213-5828.
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